I'm feeling too many emotions to pick just one at the moment. Maybe I should have kept my diagnosis to myself. Not from my friends, who have been wonderful. But from my extended family.
Today I was lied to. I was treated as "less than". Because of my autism I was excluded by the very people that should be making an effort to show some support.
I called a family member for her birthday this afternoon. "Have you had a nice day?" I asked. She replied that she'd just pottered in the garden, then cut me off for call waiting. A 30 second phone call, not at all like her. But I accepted this because... family.
In a silly move, she then posted an album of photos from the birthday celebration she had today. Beautiful photos of smiling relatives.
I'm the only one not there.
Not once was the gathering mentioned, before or after the event. Apparently a unanimous decision was made to exclude the Aspie.
Their intentions may well have been honourable. Maybe not wanting to pressure me into driving the long distance and sit among a group at a pub. But that's hardly the point.
I don't know if I'd have gone, had someone thought to invite me. Maybe not. But shouldn't the decision be mine? Just as it was before my diagnosis?
I honestly didn't want my family to treat me any differently because of my Autism. We've gone 34 years without exclusion, starting now is disappointing and painful.
All I wanted was a little understanding.
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