So. Today has been a huge day in my life. A turning point, if you will. Today, at age 34, I was diagnosed with Autism.
My Doc encouraged me to start a journal, to help organise my thoughts and feelings on the subject. I don't know if this will help much today, since I'm not sure how to feel right now… Numb. Confused. Relieved. Scared. And fragile, just to start.
So far, I've only told my husband, J. I'm not sure how to tell the kids. Even though my little one, E, also has Aspergers, I still have no idea how to tell the girls. I guess in a little while when I'm more comfortable with the news, I'll know what to do?
J has been his usual awesome self. So supportive, so caring. I really struck gold when I met him :)
Then there are the bigger questions.. how do I tell my parents? How do I tell anyone, really. And do I even want to? As I said, confused!
I suppose right now, in this moment, I feel content. I'm sitting on my bed with the ceiling fan whirring above. Listening to music as I dissect my thoughts. And I realise… I'm ok. I now have an explanation for so many things that have confused and inhibited me. I know that I'm meant to be my nerdy self. I have a family that I love, and they love me back, without question.
They're enough answers for now.
Today I was told that I have Autism.
Luckily, I also have so much more.
No comments:
Post a Comment